Secret Santa tradition

So I want to reflect about my make believe friends in a music message board. It was a board that I joined 10 years ago to fulfill some loneliness before my first holidays as a newly single single mom. That decision to join that board became a hell of a big decision and changed my life. One night I was playing cribbage online in yahoo. I used to play cribbage all the time in person and it was one of the things I missed. So yahoo games became something to do when I was bored or lonely between studying and classes as I worked on my business degree. One night I played with someone from Maine. He asked me if I liked the band PHISH. I said I do and though I don't know alot of what they do, I've liked what I've heard. He encouraged me to join this music message board for music lovers to discuss music and variety of life issues. It was a place I would be able to get and trade legal music for free. I was intrigued and had to try it. He helped me come up with the new internet name and Pharyjane was born nov 20, 2002. I was welcomed and they quickly loved that I loved pink Floyd and Neil young and classic rock. I told them how I wished I could have gone to 1969 Woodstock. I was told I could collect the audio from it. So it became my first online music obsession. I started my music collection an posted my address also as was suggested and my mailbox got "bombed" from music lovers across the world. I was sent CDs and DVDs of concerts and live shows and that first Christmas being single, this guy named Spence sent me a the DVD of pink Floyd at Pompeii. I was so touched I cried. He got a present from me the following Christmas (pink Floyd shirt) and the real friendships began. A few years later Spence committed suicide and the whole music community was saddened an grew closer and I too sought comfort in the people who knew how spence was and how much he meant to me. I saw the caring hearts and because of spence I wanted to make more Internet friends. I did. I have friends from that site that created a new site that we became our own family in another online commune. I still have friends in the other site must most are on facebook now and stay in touch that way. But the current ones are like brothers and sisters and we tease each other and support each other. We pay attention to what is happening in each others life and its like a virtual hug daily or weekly as one allows. We continued a tradition from the other site. It was a secret Santa. This has been especially important to me when I was lonely being single all these years. People would go out and buy things because they listen to you what you want or like or may be interested in. It's been fun to throw the gift together and send one and watch them post pics and comments about opening my gift. But receiving the gifts are extra special as these people have taken time to get me things for.my trips to the cabin or a book I would like or blueberry coffee I would savor or know I like cups and a cup from Maine is one of my favorites because a guy from Maine started all this family, even though he moved on for reasons I wont spoil this post with. They learn each others tastes in music. I even received a very special pink floyd dvd and phish dvd as well as many other goodies and special fun things. If it were not for this secret santa tradition, I may have never learned the secret to surviving Minnesota winters.....smartwool socks!! Oh yea! This year I was struggling from some major events of loss in my life mixed with many happy events and academic success. Kind of real life ying and yang. I got my secret Santa gift as my finals week started. I used it as motivation to finish everything. I let it sit where I would sit and study and write papers on my laptop. I opened it and I got a Pink Floyd blanket/throw along with some other fun and cool things. But the blanket and the pink Floyd air freshener made me cry. I've wrapped myself in comfort and warmth in it each day since I opened it. I take naps and put it on me to wake up drinking coffee in my Maine mug and listen to live at Pompeii or marks Christmas cd he made or the one Spence made me. I treasure my friends and I treasure their presence in my life and world and computer and online lifestyle. They don't know everything about me but I bet they could describe me to the outside world better than my real family and majority of my friends offline. I love you people and someday we are going to have our island together and play pirates together and live in peace in heaven or in earth but either way Spence is always with us.
Merry Christmas to my family
Love you all
Pharyjane


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