Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Mellow Sunday
Crazy week this week. Trying to get back in the mode of going back to work at school after a summer off of work. I felt very ready when school started after doing some camping, traveling and experiencing some beautiful sunsets and sunrises and seeing live music, spending time with friends and hanging out on some lakes. These are all things that I don't have much time for during the school year. Maybe not because I don't have time to do all of those things, its just that I don't make time the way I should. I don't even know why. By the end of the school year, or about the time spring kicks in, I start craving all of them. If I get to get to experience one or two of them from time to time, its all a bonus. But the key word in all of those experiences was music. I don't know how music became such an important part of my life, but it has and it enhances my time alone, with friends, with work, with anything I do. Bottom line, it's good for my soul.
I find myself waking up this morning that I really need it for my soul. Yesterday was a bad day being a single parent. For those of you that are single parents, you know how those days consume you and almost make you feel like giving up. Well this may have been the worst one in 24 years. I don't know what it is about this generation showing such little respect sometimes. I know if I had talked to my parents the way my kids talked to me yesterday, I would have been knocked into next county. Maybe that was my mistake, I didn't spank my kids. Not like I can go back and change that now, but I wonder about it. I guess I used words to scare them instead of spanking them. Now I think that was a mistake. Either way I finally set some boundaries and said they neeed to go find their own places to live and there is no more coming home. They are both in college, so it's not like they are too young to do this, but I've always been their safety net I guess. We all know if they really needed me, I would again be there safety net. But it had to be said. I think it's time for me to be relieved of the mom role and for them to start acting more like the adults that they are. I just wish that the hurtful things that kids say to their parents were more easily forgotten. Bring on the music, its the only thing thats soothing my soul right now, so thats why I'm finding videos and sharing music with friends this sunday morning to just try and feel a little more normal again. Crazy thing is, when things like this happen, I just want to run away, move away, go somewhere where no one knows me and be alone. I just am never sure if that is what I'm supposed to do, or if that is what I need to quit craving to do. Life.....what a concept.
I find myself waking up this morning that I really need it for my soul. Yesterday was a bad day being a single parent. For those of you that are single parents, you know how those days consume you and almost make you feel like giving up. Well this may have been the worst one in 24 years. I don't know what it is about this generation showing such little respect sometimes. I know if I had talked to my parents the way my kids talked to me yesterday, I would have been knocked into next county. Maybe that was my mistake, I didn't spank my kids. Not like I can go back and change that now, but I wonder about it. I guess I used words to scare them instead of spanking them. Now I think that was a mistake. Either way I finally set some boundaries and said they neeed to go find their own places to live and there is no more coming home. They are both in college, so it's not like they are too young to do this, but I've always been their safety net I guess. We all know if they really needed me, I would again be there safety net. But it had to be said. I think it's time for me to be relieved of the mom role and for them to start acting more like the adults that they are. I just wish that the hurtful things that kids say to their parents were more easily forgotten. Bring on the music, its the only thing thats soothing my soul right now, so thats why I'm finding videos and sharing music with friends this sunday morning to just try and feel a little more normal again. Crazy thing is, when things like this happen, I just want to run away, move away, go somewhere where no one knows me and be alone. I just am never sure if that is what I'm supposed to do, or if that is what I need to quit craving to do. Life.....what a concept.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)